10 AM

 This morning I slept until 10:00, which means I slept for 10 hours. This has been the prevailing trend since I left my job came to Sicily. Each morning I wake up and the first thing I think to myself is 'don't sleep too late'. 

It is 43 years of my mother's voice echoing in my head. My body, however is in a full state of blissful comfort. Heated blanked, luscious duvet. It is a recipe for extreme, soothing solace and I've never once felt as if I were physically distressed. It is only my mind speaking to me, and it is a mimic of the words of other people followed by a steep spiraling into a sea of all the things I'm missing out on. 

I'm healing and resting my body for more than the standard socially allotted time and I must fail at this. If I don't fail, then I will single-handedly destroy the meaning of the post-industrialized and late-stage capitalism that has been drilled into my head since kindergarten. Oh no.

At the very least, I cannot thrive. Thriving as a person with rejuvenation and inner peace at the core of all that I do cannot exist alongside hustle culture. Not in America, and not anywhere else. I must be told that I am doing it wrong, and I must be told now, lest the cognitive dissonance physically eliminate those who MUST tell me.


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